Yo Mama Jokes

Yo Mama so fat jokes

Yo Mama so fat she has to use a boomerang to put on her belt!
Yo Mama so fat, she has a naked picture of Chef Boyardee in her wallet!
Yo Mama so fat, they call her WIDE 2K!
Yo Mama so fat, she has to lay in the driveway to put on her underwear.
Yo Mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean the Whales started singing "We are family..."
Yo Mama so fat, that when the house burnt down we had to use her underwear for a tent.
Yo Mama so fat, she has smaller fat women orbiting around her.
Yo Mama so fat, her picture takes two frames.
Yo Mama so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.
Yo Mama so fat, she could sell shade.
Yo Mama so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Yo Mama so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
Yo Mama so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
Yo Mama so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.
Yo Mama so fat, when she was walking in her jeans I swear I smelled something burning.
Yo Mama so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her.
Yo Mama so fat, when she goes to the circus she sees the big top and asks "Where can I try that on?"
Yo Mama so fat, when she goes to the circus she takes up all the rings.
Yo Mama so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
Yo Mama so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.
Yo Mama so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.
Yo Mama so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the screen.
Yo Mama so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.
Yo Mama so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"
Yo Mama so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
Yo Mama so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
Yo Mama so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
Yo Mama so fat, when she plays football she plays the interior line.
Yo Mama so fat, when she wears heels, they're flats by the afternoon.
Yo Mama so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts "The coast is clear."
Yo Mama so fat, she shops for clothes in the local tent shop.
Yo Mama so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on.
Yo Mama so fat, she's 36-24-36... but thats her forearm, neck, and thigh!
Yo Mama so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.
Yo Mama so fat, when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo Mama so hairy jokes

Yo Mama so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth.
Yo Mama so hairy, she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.
Yo Mama so hairy, her breasts look like coconuts.
Yo Mama so hairy, she shaves with a weedwacker.
Yo Mama so hairy, she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.
Yo Mama so hairy, her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.
Yo Mama so hairy, she looks like a Chia pet with a sweater on.
Yo Mama so hairy, if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.
Yo Mama so hairy, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
Yo Mama so hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her.
Yo Mama so hairy, when she goes to the circus the bearded lady protests against non-union workers.
Yo Mama so old jokes

Yo Mama so old, she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
Yo Mama so old, she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
Yo Mama so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.
Yo Mama so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Yo Mama so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.
Yo Mama so old, her memory is in black and white.
Yo Mama so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
Yo Mama so old, she drove a chariot to high school.
Yo Mama so old, she baby-sat for Jesus.
Yo Mama so old, her social security number is 000-00-001.
Yo Mama so old, her birth-certificate expired.
Yo Mama so old, she owes Jesus a nickel.
Yo Mama so old, she owes Moses a quarter.
Yo Mama so old, she's got Jesus' beeper number.
Yo Mama so old, when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo Mama so old, when God said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.
Yo Mama so old, when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.
Yo Mama so old, when she reads the bible she reminisces.
Yo Mama so old, she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo Mama so poor jokes

Yo Mama so poor, she can't even put her two cents into this conversation.
Yo Mama so poor, when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said "Lose a shoe?" she said "Nope, just found one!"
Yo Mama so poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Yo Mama so poor, I went to her house and tore down some cob webs, and she said "Who's tearing down the drapes?"
Yo Mama so poor, I saw her shaking a can around and asked her what she was doing and she said "Redecorating."
Yo Mama so poor, I came over for dinner and saw 3 beans on the table, I took one and she said "Don't be greedy."
Yo Mama so poor, she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo Mama so poor, when I stepped on her doormat she said "Hey, you can't go upstairs."
Yo Mama so poor, I stepped on her skateboard and she said "Hey, get off the car!"
Yo Mama so poor, I went into her house and saw a bunch of cockroaches sittin' around the toilet singin' "We are family!"
Yo Mama so poor, I walked into her house and stepped on a cigarette butt and she said, "Hey, who turned off the heater?"
Yo Mama so poor, I walked into her house and swatted a firefly and she said, "Who turned off the lights?"
Yo Mama so poor, I went into her house and flushed a cockroach down the toilet and she said, "Hey, where'd Grandma go?"
Yo Mama so poor, when I ring the doorbell she says "DING!"
Yo Mama so poor, the mat on her front porch says "Wel"
Yo Mama so poor, the bank repossesed her cardboard box.
Yo Mama so poor, I walked into her house, asked to use the bathroom, and she said "3rd tree to your right."
Yo Mama so poor, I walked into her house, asked to use the bathroom, she handed me a shovel and said "May the force be with you."
Yo Mama so stupid jokes

Yo Mama so stupid, I told her to buy a color TV, she came back and said "what color?"
Yo Mama so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot-out.
Yo Mama so stupid, she failed a survey.
Yo Mama so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go.
Yo Mama so stupid, she gave birth to you.
Yo Mama so stupid, she needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit.
Yo Mama so stupid, she told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk."
Yo Mama so stupid, when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the 'Any' key.
Yo Mama so stupid, she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said `concentrate.
Yo Mama so stupid, I put a Scratch-N'-Sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool and she drowned.
Yo Mama so stupid, she has 1 toe & bought a pair of flip flops
Yo Mama so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.
Yo Mama so stupid, she thought 2pac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
Yo Mama so stupid, she was on the corner with a sign that said "Will eat for food."
Yo Mama so stupid, she got on an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.
Yo Mama so stupid, she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor.
Yo Mama so stupid, she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer.
Yo Mama so stupid, she got locked in a meat locker and sweat to death.
Yo Mama so stupid, she leaves the house for the Home Shopping Network.
Yo Mama so stupid, her latest invention was a glass hammer.
Yo Mama so stupid, she saw a billboard that said "Dodge Trucks" and she started ducking through traffic.
Yo Mama so stupid, she got locked out of a convertible car with the top down.
Yo Mama so short jokes

Yo Mama so short, she has to cuff her underwear.
Yo Mama so short, she can play handball on the curb.
Yo Mama so short, she don't roll dice, she pushes them.
Yo Mama so short, she poses for trophies.
Yo Mama so short, she can sit on a dime and swing her legs.
Yo Mama so short, she broke her leg jumping off the toilet.
Yo Mama so short, she has to get a running start to get up on the toilet.
Yo Mama so short, she can do backflips under the bed.
Yo Mama so short, she needs a ladder to pick up a dime.
Yo Mama so short, she can hang glide on a Dorito.
Yo Mama so short, her best friend is an ant.
Yo Mama so short, her homies are the Keebler Elfs.
Yo Mama so short, she can surf on a popsicle stick.
Yo Mama so short, you can see her feet on her driver license.
Yo Mama so short, she has to reach up to tie her shoes.
Yo Mama so skinny jokes

Yo Mama so skinny, she has to run around in the shower to get wet.
Yo Mama so skinny, when she takes a bath and lets the water out, her toes get caught in the drain.
Yo Mama so shinny, she had to stand in the same place twice to cast a shadow.
Yo Mama so skinny, I gave her a piece of popcorn and she went into a coma.
Yo Mama so skinny, you can save her from drowning by tossing her a Cheerio.
Yo Mama so skinny, I could blind-fold her with dental floss.
Yo Mama so skinny, she turned sideways and disappeared.
Yo Mama so skinny, she can see out the peephole with both eyes.
Yo Mama so skinny, she can dodge rain drops.
Yo Mama so skinny, if she had dreads I'd grab her by the ankles and use her to mop the floor.
Yo Mama so skinny, instead of calling her your parent, you call her transparent.
Yo Mama so skinny, her bra fits better backward.
Yo Mama so skinny, she swallowed a meatball and thought she was pregnant.
Yo Mama so skinny, she uses Chapstick for deodorant.
Yo Mama so ugly jokes

Yo Mama so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink.
Yo Mama so ugly, It looks like someone set her face on fire and put it out with an axe!!
Yo Mama so ugly, Yo daddy tosses the ugly stick and she fetches it every time.
Yo Mama so ugly, they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks.
Yo Mama so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
Yo Mama so ugly, my dog took one look at her and ran away.
Yo Mama so ugly, she makes blind children cry.
Yo Mama so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.
Yo Mama so ugly, roaches go "Hi mom!"
Yo Mama so ugly, Rice Krispies won't talk to her.
Yo Mama so ugly, she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness.
Yo Mama so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.
Yo Mama so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
Yo Mama so ugly, I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."
Yo Mama so ugly, even the tide won't come back in.
Yo Mama so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border.
Yo Mama so ugly, people go as her for Halloween.
Yo Mama so ugly, she looked out the window and the police fined her for mooning.
Yo Mama so ugly, she has 7 years bad luck just trying to look at herself in the mirror.
Yo Mama so ugly, Medusa is jealous.
Yo Mama so ugly, the Pro-Lifers would make an exception in her case.
Yo Mama so ugly, when she got in the tub, the water jumped out.
Yo Mama so ugly, they put her face on a poster for abstinence.
Yo Mama so ugly, she has to creep up on her makeup.